Vanessa Carlton Song Fic: Paradise
by Svonnah-La-Fay
Summary: Another song fiction featuring Rachel (sigh. Again.) But it's so cool, so angsty and stuff -dealing with Rachel the warrior and how she deals with it -and how she changes (for the better? Who can say) UPDATED!


**Wow. Lot of song fictions lately, huh? **I hope that ya'll like them...! Don't worry, I am an actual author, and once these are all published I shall march forward with a real story (it's really good too!)

**About this fic: Paradise**, by **Vanessa Carlton** (whom I love), describes Rachel (AGAIN! Sorry!) and how she deals with the David episoides and what those three books reveal about her. This is actually one of my song fics with **actual quotes from the book**, as in, I didn't make any of it up! Yay for hours of browsing!

_**Who is Speaking? **_ Rachel is speaking unless otherwise marked in the bolded print.

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**Rachel's Paradise**

** Once upon a year gone by she saw herself give in…**

I thought back to that moment, so long ago, when we decided to take a short cut through the construction site…and was grateful…

**Every time she closed her eyes she saw what could have been…**

I shut my mind to the pain…Tobias? Dead? It couldn't be…

**Well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds when covers tucked in tight…**

I was terrified. In pain. But I couldn't let the other see…couldn't… 

**Funny when the bottom drops how she forgets to fight…**

"Rachel," Jake said, his voice dripping with disgust. "You want to remain an Animorph? You'll follow orders."

**To fight…**

I nodded, meek and afraid…then I did something I don't do much: I cried.

**And it's…**

**One more day in Paradise…**

"Rachel? You _love_ it! You actually get off on the danger and excitement, don't you?" he yelled.

"Shut UP Marco!" I screamed.

**One more day in Paradise…**

The plan was outrageous, insane, out of control and violent.

And yes…I liked it.

**Cassie: As darkness quickly steals the light that shined within her eyes…**

I looked over at Rachel. She was exhausted. Her eyes were dull. Her outward appearance was calm and non-threatening, but I could see inside her. She was screaming…

**Rachel: She slowly swallows all her fear and soothes her mind with lies…**

But I'm Xena, warrior princess. I don't do fear. It's what they expect of me.

I let them down…

**Well all she wants and all she needs are reasons to survive…**

I fought a nauseating urge to twist the fork, to make him scream in pain…

"You want a war between you and us, that's one thing, we'll play that out…but if you sell us out to the Visser, I will make sure your little family will never get put back together again…"

**A day in which the sun will take her artificial light…**

This was it. This was the day. The fight ended here. We were all going to die…_I_ was going to die…

**Tobias: Her light…**

Have you ever known someone who walks around with their own personal spotlight on them? That's Rachel.

**And it's…**

**One more day in Paradise…**

A woke up. Another day. Another lie to live…

**Jake: One more day in Paradise…**

Personally I'd be glad if this stupid War ended tomorrow and I could go back to being a regular guy. But Rachel? I don't know anymore…

**It's one more day in Paradise…**

It was a walking death-machine. Seven feel tall, sharp blades protruding from all over its body…it was beautiful…I was going to become it…

**One last chance to feel alright….**

I was exhausted yes, but it was more than that. I was high on adrenaline. High on the rush of power and violence…

**Alright…**

I found myself filled with a terrifying surge of hate for Jake. At that moment I hated him far more than I hated David.

I should have gone back, but I didn't. I couldn't face him. I couldn't face what Jake knew about me…

**Don't pretend to hold it in just let it out… **

No, Marco, no! I'm scared, alright! Just as scared as the rest of you!

**Don't pretend to hold it in just push it out…**

Come on Xena, hold it together… 

**Don't you try to hold it in just let it out and…**

I was cold again. Cold as a frozen lake. If David had killed Tobias, I would…

**Don't you try to hold it in you hold it in…**

But what was the point of making threats? I didn't need to make threats. I knew what I would do. So did Jake. That's why he sent for me…

**One more day in Paradise…**

I had eyes that saw every blade of grass. Eyes that noted every small, scurrying rodent hiding in darkness. But I was blind.

All I could see was Tobias. Tobias dead? Not possible…

**One more day in Paradise, it's…**

"Pretty upset over Bird-Boy aren't you? What, did you _like_ him? Too bad. But you know, birds don't have a very long life span…"

**One more day in Paradise…**

"You don't have to do this, Rachel," Jake said. "Everyone is in on this. We all made the choice."

"Yeah, but it won't bother me." Of course, Jake didn't believe me…

**One last chance to feel alright…**

Rachel, Ax said. I do not think I will wish to speak of this again.

I didn't answer. I was still listening for the thought-speak cries that followed us for so long…so long…

**Once upon a year gone by she saw herself give in…**

Something kind of snapped in my after that…somehow the joy I'd gotten from combat, the thrill I'd gotten from battle against impossible odds…well…

**Every time she closed her eyes she saw what could have been…**

I guess maybe I just grew up a little…


End file.
